I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
