Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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