Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
