Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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