You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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