everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
