so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My feet surprised me
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