Walk of Shame. In a state park.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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