I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Two words: nipple clamps
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