NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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