i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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