OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You can't just leave with hair like that
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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we're so committed to being not committed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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