You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
