What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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