Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
There r osticjed everywhere
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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