If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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