I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
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