I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
