I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize