K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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