Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf

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  (810): Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf http://tfl.nu/xleg
  Replies (2) Good night (768) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?

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  (614): youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right? http://tfl.nu/3ekq
  Replies (19) Good night (676) Bad night (1744)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?

  (904): View more from Florida

  Both

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  (954): What are you talking about? And how drunk are you? (904): Both http://tfl.nu/7q6w
  Replies (18) Good night (6194) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat

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  (412): I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat http://tfl.nu/4f5y
  Replies (6) Good night (2886) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?

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  (856): He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs? http://tfl.nu/ic15
  Replies (31) Good night (8491) Bad night (1204)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there

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  (315): don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there http://tfl.nu/ybdj
  Replies (4) Good night (4293) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.

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  (360): I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised. http://tfl.nu/zjt1
  Replies (6) Good night (2296) Bad night (873)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
  Replies (6) Good night (1104) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.

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  (609): She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew. http://tfl.nu/vnvf
  Replies (27) Good night (4520) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"

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  (719): I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!" http://tfl.nu/n0v3
  Replies (2) Good night (1446) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  of course we have a beer bong

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  how else would we feed our christmas tree

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  (267): of course we have a beer bong (267): how else would we feed our christmas tree http://tfl.nu/aebp
  Replies (3) Good night (1129) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"

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  (250): His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer" http://tfl.nu/we03
  Replies (5) Good night (1180) Bad night (501)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.

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  (260): He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him. http://tfl.nu/2xzg
  Replies (5) Good night (1434) Bad night (557)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.

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  (404): I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight. (843): Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back? (404): I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me. http://tfl.nu/tm5b
  Replies (2) Good night (278) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?

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  (970): He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner? http://tfl.nu/fpx9
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (244)

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