five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.