Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year