Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  No

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  (610): Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight? (570): No http://tfl.nu/7sm8
  Replies (34) Good night (1987) Bad night (963)
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  (518): View more from New York

  He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.

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  (518): He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me. http://tfl.nu/ya5v
  Replies (2) Good night (2170) Bad night (610)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?

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  (720): well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you? http://tfl.nu/2ont
  Replies (24) Good night (793) Bad night (2855)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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  (847): I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days http://tfl.nu/mlev
  Replies (52) Good night (1091) Bad night (3800)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.

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  (717): dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high. http://tfl.nu/gyij
  Replies (20) Good night (6102) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.

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  (617): I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN. http://tfl.nu/pj90
  Replies (8) Good night (1244) Bad night (4111)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.

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  (772): You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list. http://tfl.nu/hcyy
  Replies (9) Good night (3012) Bad night (1528)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.

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  (575): We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins. http://tfl.nu/gnps
  Replies (9) Good night (2739) Bad night (838)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  She wants to have naked weekends

  (541): View more from Oregon

  They call that free range vagina in France

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  (503): She wants to have naked weekends (541): They call that free range vagina in France http://tfl.nu/sou7
  Replies (9) Good night (2773) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.

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  (860): How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex. http://tfl.nu/eztj
  Replies (8) Good night (2043) Bad night (729)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".

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  (902): I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores". http://tfl.nu/4gk3
  Replies (3) Good night (833) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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  (972): It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night. http://tfl.nu/xja7
  Replies (0) Good night (397) Bad night (608)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture

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  (319): You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture http://tfl.nu/kmrh
  Replies (2) Good night (712) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.

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  (650): Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what. http://tfl.nu/elzg
  Replies (4) Good night (1003) Bad night (329)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas

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  (716): Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas http://tfl.nu/5ka8
  Replies (1) Good night (344) Bad night (902)

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