i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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