I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just sent this text using only my big toe
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
