For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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