I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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