i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
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If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
A+ Viking dick
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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