Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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