I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
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I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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