Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize