We won't sleep together?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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