Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
