You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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