I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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