i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
