69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
