U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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