drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
