party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
