Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
