My first STD was from a foam party
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
