There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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