You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
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I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize