There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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