this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
