brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
