I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize