Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
