You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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