great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
