Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
