i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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