On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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