That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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