everyone is single if you try hard enough
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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