: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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